As a Year 4 Accountancy student juggling commitments, GEN2060 Reconnect SeniorsSG, a service-learning course on befriending socially isolated seniors, was not my first choice for my Communities and Engagement Pillar course. I had been hoping for something with a “lighter” workload, a class that would free up precious time for what felt like more pressing concerns, most notably, the daunting search for a job.
When I was assigned this course, however, an unexpected sense of relief washed over me. After all, I have fond memories of volunteering at elder care centres during my secondary school years. Still, I stepped into this course with modest expectations, convinced I would be able to manage befriending seniors well, but that there would be little to learn.
However, I could not have been more mistaken as my time with them turned out to be deeply eye-opening.
Mr Wong was the first elderly person we met. Warm, chatty, and easy-going, he never failed to make my friends and me laugh. Beneath his cheerful demeanour, however, lay quiet struggles: financial hardship, a lingering physical ailment, and the grief of losing his wife just a year ago. It was humbling to see how he carried this weight with light-heartedness.
Our next visit brought us to Mdm Judy. She was reserved, yet there was a quiet spark of wit and confidence about her. In contrast to Mr Wong’s lively chatter that filled his living room, her home was marked by silence. An awkwardness lingered as both sides searched for words. Thankfully, the student coordinator from the Active Ageing Centre, who accompanied us for our first session, gently broke the silence: “Mdm Judy, are there any activities you would like to do? For example, the students could bring colouring books or card games to play with you in the next session.”
At the mention of colouring books, Mdm Judy’s eyes brightened, and she even asked for felt pens. It was a small moment, yet it felt like the beginning of something meaningful.
Then, we met Mr Chan. Warm, talkative, and brimming with wisdom, he welcomed us with genuine curiosity. He asked about our degrees, requested to see how we wrote our Chinese names, and in turn shared his reflections on history and life. His words were often laced with Chinese idioms, each one adding colour and depth to his stories.
Lastly, we met Mdm Lim. At first, I found her presence intimidating, though her gentle smile softened the atmosphere. Yet once again, silence fell heavily as both sides struggled to find words. This time, the student coordinator tried a different approach: “Mdm Lim, if there’s anything you would like the students to do with you, just let us know. They can always prepare something for the next session.”
Mdm Lim quietly shook her head before softly replying, “I don’t know what to say anymore.” Her words lingered, carrying the weight of the silence that filled the room.
As we left her home, the volunteer explained that Mdm Lim had endured a difficult life, which perhaps explained her hesitation to engage. A few weeks later, we learned from the student coordinator that she had unfortunately decided to withdraw from the programme.
From the beginning, Mr Wong felt less like someone we were assigned to visit and more like a friend. At every befriending session, he would open up about his struggles, though never with the expectation of receiving help. At first, my friends and I would instinctively offer solutions, but over time we realised that what Mr Wong truly sought was not assistance, but a listening ear. And so, we learned simply to sit beside him, to listen with patience, and to respond with presence. Over time, Mr Wong would end each session by thanking us for simply being there and listening, reminding us that companionship itself was enough.
Mdm Judy, on the other hand, took a while to open up to us. As we spent time together doing activities like colouring, light exercises, and memory card games, her warmth slowly revealed itself through subtle ways. She would ask us if we had eaten breakfast, then quietly offer us her favourite biscuits. When it was time for us to leave, she would send us off with the sweetest smile and a soft word of thanks, gestures that lingered long after we left.
With Mr Chan, our visits settled into a familiar routine. My friends and I would meet him at his house and walk together to his favourite coffee shop. Each time, he would be waiting with a small plastic bag of snacks prepared for us. At the coffee shop, he would press a $10 note into our hands, insisting on treating us to drinks. Whenever we tried to pay instead, he would gently protest, saying it was his way of showing gratitude for our time. Beyond these gestures, Mr Chan loved sharing glimpses of his life. Sometimes he would bring out photos from outings with friends and family, and he even brought out his photo album once to show us pictures of his loved ones. Alongside these memories, he often offered us lessons about life, reminding us of the importance of good friends, the value of kindness, and other principles I now carry with me.
CHEW Rui Shi, Coffee with Mr Chan. AI generated (ChatGPT)
In the moments I spent with Mr Wong, Mdm Judy, and Mr Chan, I experienced a rare stillness, as though time itself had slowed. Amidst the busyness of deadlines, applications, and the constant rush of final year life, these befriending sessions became an anchor. They reminded me that relationships are not built on grand gestures but on presence, patience, and the willingness to listen. Whether it was Mr Wong’s laughter, Mdm Judy’s quiet acts of care, or Mr Chan’s lessons about kindness and friendship, each encounter left something lasting.
Even though not every connection could be sustained, as in the case of Mdm Lim, I came to realise that showing up and being present still mattered. This course, which I once dismissed as an accidental occurrence, became an unexpected gift. What I once assumed would teach me little, instead offered lessons that no classroom would – the power of presence and showing up for someone, patience and humility by slowing down and meet the seniors where they are, and that wisdom can emerge in the simplest conversations with the seniors. In giving my time, I found myself learning far more than I had imagined, and these moments, where time seemed to stand still, are the ones I will carry with me long after graduation.
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