After the Rejection

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Just got friendzoned? How to get over it.

Your crush has uttered probably the five most hated words in history: “Can we just be friends?”

It feels like a punch in the stomach. Like you can’t breathe. Like everyone just stopped and started pointing at you, laughing. Rejection can be tough and heart breaking. And finding out your crush is not into you that way… the worst feeling ever.

But it isn’t the end of the world (though it totally feels like it now!)

In fact, you should be proud of yourself that you even dared to dip your toe into that crazy, scary dating pool. You had the guts and the confidence to put yourself out there!

See what we’re getting at? That’s right, think positive. That’s what you need to start feeling better.

But what else can you do? Here, let us help you get back on your feet.

Go easy on yourself. What happened doesn't mean you're a failure. And it's not your fault if it's not meant to be. You can't change anyone’s feelings. But you change how you choose to feel about it. Choose to be positive. Focus on all the things you like about yourself – your sense of humour, your sports skills, your ability to juggle oranges, even! And see the bright side of things – you now have more time to hang out with your friends!

Don't be embarrassed. Don’t feel like you've lost face. Who knows, that person may have been flattered by your invitation for a date! At the very least, you know that both of you aren't going to happen, so focus on the relationships that do matter – like your close friends, your family, the people who share your interests. And say this: “Next!”

Keep your mind busy. At first, it’s going to be hard to keep your crush out of your mind. So you need to stay busy. Do the things you usually enjoy. Spend time goofing around with friends. Or try out new activities.

Get it off your chest. Don't keep your feelings all bottled up. Talk to a friend you trust if you can’t stop thinking about your crush, or keep feeling sad and distressed. A good cry always helps, and your friends will totally understand you need to let it all out.

Give yourself some time. You're not going to feel better instantly (if you do, that’s awesome!) Take a step back, give yourself the space to heal and make sense of what happened. You'll see that the situation isn't so bad after all. In time, you'll meet new people and experience new things that will change your perspective on life.

The emotional journey you've been through – a rollercoaster filled with highs and lows – happens to the best of us. What matters is that you learn from this and grow into being stronger, more resilient, and respect yourself. Along the way, you’ll discover more about yourself, too – what you want out of a relationship, and what you will not compromise on. Who knows, when you’re back in the game, you might meet someone who will appreciate all that about you.

Contributed By: Health Promotion Board (HPB)
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